After Dark

Just finished 2 exams, two more to go. Did alright on them…taking a break but I should really be studying for my next one which is next Thursday.

The chill has arrived in Toronto. I can feel it in my on bones. November was productive, got all my school work done ahead of time with a high level of effort yet attending most of my friends birthdays since everyone seems to have birthdays in November. I’m kicking procrastination to the curb…at least for November but December is looking good so far too. I’m staying on top of my studies. All my friends and even acquaintances whenever they see me, they always ask me when is the next time I’m going back on base for army training or the next time I’m going on a mission overseas to Afghanistan again. And of course, they always ask me when my upcoming fight is and of course about the post fight after party and occasionally about the Kim Kardashian meeting (the typical is she hot in real life? was her boyfriend there to kick your ass? Did you like her assets? Is her booty as good in real life as it is in pictures? And the answer is Yes. No. Yes and yes. She has nice assets, nice curves…they’re nice…I’d love to have em…not on me but in my life :p). I’m usually reluctant to answer the question and try to steer the conversation away from the topic but everyone seems pretty persistent in trying to get an answer. To be perfectly honest, I’ve been reluctant to step back in the gym and train. I’ve temporarily lost interest in stepping inside my military combats to renew my skills. I’m enjoying the simplicity of normal life. Everyone talks about how they don’t want to ordinary but this is the first time in my lie that I kind of embrace it…which is kind of scary. It’s like losing that motivation to strive to be something better than you average Joe Blow. Some of my buddies who are fight enthusiasts ask me to spar with them, I’m hesitant to since I’m very rusty and haven’t sharpened my skills in a long time yet. Usually, the sparring sessions end with me putting very little effort in and displaying poor athleticism; taking more punishment and virtually losing to my buddy. Hell...I even got punched in my right eye too. The bad habits are coming back again, lack of head movement, bad footwork and no snap in my jab, leaving me in despair by challenging my desire to continue the sport at the competitive level and if my fighting spirit has finally diminished.

Seems like the recession has hit my family hard financially, with my dad being out of a job for two years and struggling to make ends meet by pulling 12-15 hour days all by himself on construction projects. It’s hard to see him sometimes come home limping and my dad just turned 58 couple months ago and he’s not working any less than he did before, yet he’s not getting any younger. Things don’t get any better though, I was driving my car and the brakes failed on me on the way home from school. My 17 year old Camry isn’t worth fixing anymore and now we have to get a new car which entails more expenses. Just the other day I was talking to my brother and he told me mom had gingivitis for a long time to the point where her left gums reseeds down to the roots of her teeth. The doctors advised her to get surgery 6 months ago but she’s been scrunching and saving hoping our savings can last long enough to ride out the recession. She didn’t tell me not wanting me to worry so I can focus fully on school. She’s works tirelessly making sure that there is always food prepared in the fridge for me and my brother even if it meant that she’d only catch a couple hours of sleep.
I think it’s adamant that my mom gets her surgery done, but as of now I don’t have the financial means to help her out. Maybe I should’ve taken that six figure contract that Top Rank offered me last year. The craziest idea popped into my head. With lack of preparation just recovering from the swine flu, I would go box and prizefight in the States hopefully before new years racking in enough to pay for my mom’s surgery and just enough to clear the balance on my tuition. I called up my manager and he told me it was a retarded idea.
“You know better than me that if you step in that ring unprepared, you’ll come out on a stretcher or you’ll be in a coma for 2 weeks. The New York State Athletic Commision will never let you fight when are unprepared.”
“You should know by now I live my life according to my own rules. This isn’t the first day you’ve met me.” I told him.
“Call me crazy for helping you make this happen but I’ll see what I can do,” he said.
He called me up 20 minutes later and said that the Las Vegas matches are all booked and scheduled but there’s a bout in New York which was the main event where there’s a fighter by the name of Blake who after watching his opponent Cornelius train on YouTube decided he didn’t have the nerve to compete in the ring with him and bailed out. So my manager asked if I was interested in taking his place and I was like “Hell Yeah!”
He called me a bit later and said he reached a verbal agreement with the promoter and squeeze out a decent deal with an incentive winning bonus depending on how much the event sponsors were willing to fork out which I don't expect to be much in this economy.
I’m no where near ready, just fully recovered from the swine flu. My stamina and conditioning isn’t good enough, when I get ready for a fight I’m able to wake up and run 10 clicks easy and now I’m huffing and puffing on my 8th km. My mind isn’t as sharp and as focused as it needs to be…
Seems as though swine flu broke me down, but it’s up to me to build myself back up.