I came home after a long day at school. Bunch of boring lectures, profs that don’t speak proper English, just overall not a good day. To make things worse, I got my term paperback and I got 14 out of 20. I expected an A for the time I put in. the comments that the TA wrote on my essay were as if she never even read it. I can’t complain, just have to work harder.
My mom had an appointment the following day to see breast cancer specialist, Dr. Nancy at the North York General Hospital. As I stepped into the door of my house, I was already in a horrible mood from my term paper results. My mom was scrambling, giving me an endless amount of chores and things to help her on. I was disgruntled and clearly showed it, reluctant to complete the tasks she gave me. I just wanted some alone time, peace and quiet but here she is bombarding me with tasks to fulfill. I basically told her that I’d had enough for the night and to just leave me alone. She yelled back, “With that kind of attitude, I’ll die even faster with breast cancer.”
I know it wasn’t how a well-trained soldier should respond, it isn’t how a disciplined athlete should be and it definitely isn’t a good example of what a good son should be. I woke up early next morning to make breakfast for my mom. I waited quietly and patiently outside her room, pacing myself back and forth thinking of how to apologize to her. She finally woke up and as she opened her doors and to her surprise I was awake earlier than she was standing in front of the master bedroom. I sincerely apologized to her for my impulsive behavior yesterday and led her downstairs to the breakfast I made for her. As she was sipping on the porridge I made for her, she told me, “I know you are stressed out, I know you have a lot going on in your life that you don’t tell me about, but I’m on constant worry about my health too. We can talk it out, we are a family but we don’t take it out on each other.” There was not a shadow of a doubt she was right, but inside I still insisted that I should keep my Mission to Afghanistan and my boxing career to myself.
I took my mom to see the breast cancer specialist that afternoon. It took that whole day from 12pm to 6pm. I noticed that my mom seemed a little tensed and nervous, so I went downstairs to the café and bought her something to drink to keep her mind off of it. Finally her doctor called my mom’s name; it was her time to go in. While I was sitting outside waiting, there was a group of ladies in their 50’s who were already diagnosed with breast cancer. Here they were with one of the most deadly diseases inside of them yet; they were joking, laughing and trying to make the most of it. My mom finally came out; I rushed to her and asked what the doctor said. She told me the doctor wants her to do a biopsy and reschedule an appointment back here when the biopsy is completed for the final report. It took 6 hours to find out she needs a biopsy…lousy health care system…but at least they are thorough.
As we drove home, I focused at the task at hand. I have to be in Philadelphia the next day for the promoters meeting for a potential boxing event. Better start packing…
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Rock Bottom
I’d never thought it would ever happen to me…I’ve heard enough stories about it…
As a fighter, a boxer, I’ve learned to slip, parry, bob and weave through all my life. But this one is one I’m defenseless against.
Just the other day, my mom cooked dinner with d during dinner, my mom turned to me and my brother and said, “I have something to tell you guys.” We said “Yeah go on,” and we continued munching on the tasty food. “I might have breast cancer,” she said. Me and my brother both froze. By the tone of her voice my brother and I both knew it wasn’t a joke. My mom explained that that day last week I went with my mom for an ultrasound scan, after the scanning was completed, the ultrasound technician turned to my mom and asked if there was any family history of cancer. My mom replied no and asked if there was a problem. The ultrasound technician obviously said no. My mom asked how long it would take for the report to be completed and returned to the family physician and the ultrasound technician said 2 days which is extremely fast and usually it’s only that quick if there’s an emergency. The family physician referred her to see a specialist at the North York General Hospital and my mom tried many times to call them regarding making an appointment but she can never get through to them. As dinner continued, she reassured us that everything is and will be alright. She told us not to inform tell dad who is on a business trip in Hong Kong about it and not to notify our relatives since they are going on vacation soon. My brother and I were both speechless. I thought to myself, if my mom has breast cancer she would know, she can feel it I’m sure. I asked her how she is feeling and if there were any changes in her sense of wellbeing over the last year and she reassured me that she felt fine.
I wasn’t completely satisfied with the answer of course. I’m at a lost for words. Words can only describe so much and rather rant on about it, I just thought of what a good son would do at this point. And with my mind clouded with pain, misery and disbelief all at the same time, all I came up with was to spend more time with my mom.
I was so into my goals, dreams, aspirations and we don’t see the people around us supporting us, providing for us. It was my goal of serving my country overseas as a soldier in war bearing the flag of our fathers sort to speak. That was accomplished. When I set sights of a new dream of mine to compete in the Olympics, fate seemed to have robbed me of this chance I’ve worked so hard on. Although my mom wasn’t supportive of my military career, she would dedicate her weekend driving me to and from the military base where I was training so that I could have an enjoyable weekend at home spending time with friends and family. She never outwardly supported my boxing endeavors but she made sure there was always food in the fridge when I need to recharge after training or a workout. It was always about me and my goals and it made me very narrow minded. Even though she indirectly supported me through everything, I hid the fact that I went to war in Afghanistan and never told her about it, even though I knew the dangers and risk of me not ever returning. All my boxing competitions in Las Vegas, New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, I’ve made up excuses for why I was not going to be home for 3-4 days. With all the accomplishments and accolades from peers, my mom should be the one on the receiving end of it not me.
If she really did have it, and if I could start all over again as a kid, I would have forgone everything just to spend more time with my mom and have a better relationship with her…
As a fighter, a boxer, I’ve learned to slip, parry, bob and weave through all my life. But this one is one I’m defenseless against.
Just the other day, my mom cooked dinner with d during dinner, my mom turned to me and my brother and said, “I have something to tell you guys.” We said “Yeah go on,” and we continued munching on the tasty food. “I might have breast cancer,” she said. Me and my brother both froze. By the tone of her voice my brother and I both knew it wasn’t a joke. My mom explained that that day last week I went with my mom for an ultrasound scan, after the scanning was completed, the ultrasound technician turned to my mom and asked if there was any family history of cancer. My mom replied no and asked if there was a problem. The ultrasound technician obviously said no. My mom asked how long it would take for the report to be completed and returned to the family physician and the ultrasound technician said 2 days which is extremely fast and usually it’s only that quick if there’s an emergency. The family physician referred her to see a specialist at the North York General Hospital and my mom tried many times to call them regarding making an appointment but she can never get through to them. As dinner continued, she reassured us that everything is and will be alright. She told us not to inform tell dad who is on a business trip in Hong Kong about it and not to notify our relatives since they are going on vacation soon. My brother and I were both speechless. I thought to myself, if my mom has breast cancer she would know, she can feel it I’m sure. I asked her how she is feeling and if there were any changes in her sense of wellbeing over the last year and she reassured me that she felt fine.
I wasn’t completely satisfied with the answer of course. I’m at a lost for words. Words can only describe so much and rather rant on about it, I just thought of what a good son would do at this point. And with my mind clouded with pain, misery and disbelief all at the same time, all I came up with was to spend more time with my mom.
I was so into my goals, dreams, aspirations and we don’t see the people around us supporting us, providing for us. It was my goal of serving my country overseas as a soldier in war bearing the flag of our fathers sort to speak. That was accomplished. When I set sights of a new dream of mine to compete in the Olympics, fate seemed to have robbed me of this chance I’ve worked so hard on. Although my mom wasn’t supportive of my military career, she would dedicate her weekend driving me to and from the military base where I was training so that I could have an enjoyable weekend at home spending time with friends and family. She never outwardly supported my boxing endeavors but she made sure there was always food in the fridge when I need to recharge after training or a workout. It was always about me and my goals and it made me very narrow minded. Even though she indirectly supported me through everything, I hid the fact that I went to war in Afghanistan and never told her about it, even though I knew the dangers and risk of me not ever returning. All my boxing competitions in Las Vegas, New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, I’ve made up excuses for why I was not going to be home for 3-4 days. With all the accomplishments and accolades from peers, my mom should be the one on the receiving end of it not me.
If she really did have it, and if I could start all over again as a kid, I would have forgone everything just to spend more time with my mom and have a better relationship with her…
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