Rock Bottom

I’d never thought it would ever happen to me…I’ve heard enough stories about it…
As a fighter, a boxer, I’ve learned to slip, parry, bob and weave through all my life. But this one is one I’m defenseless against.
Just the other day, my mom cooked dinner with d during dinner, my mom turned to me and my brother and said, “I have something to tell you guys.” We said “Yeah go on,” and we continued munching on the tasty food. “I might have breast cancer,” she said. Me and my brother both froze. By the tone of her voice my brother and I both knew it wasn’t a joke. My mom explained that that day last week I went with my mom for an ultrasound scan, after the scanning was completed, the ultrasound technician turned to my mom and asked if there was any family history of cancer. My mom replied no and asked if there was a problem. The ultrasound technician obviously said no. My mom asked how long it would take for the report to be completed and returned to the family physician and the ultrasound technician said 2 days which is extremely fast and usually it’s only that quick if there’s an emergency. The family physician referred her to see a specialist at the North York General Hospital and my mom tried many times to call them regarding making an appointment but she can never get through to them. As dinner continued, she reassured us that everything is and will be alright. She told us not to inform tell dad who is on a business trip in Hong Kong about it and not to notify our relatives since they are going on vacation soon. My brother and I were both speechless. I thought to myself, if my mom has breast cancer she would know, she can feel it I’m sure. I asked her how she is feeling and if there were any changes in her sense of wellbeing over the last year and she reassured me that she felt fine.
I wasn’t completely satisfied with the answer of course. I’m at a lost for words. Words can only describe so much and rather rant on about it, I just thought of what a good son would do at this point. And with my mind clouded with pain, misery and disbelief all at the same time, all I came up with was to spend more time with my mom.
I was so into my goals, dreams, aspirations and we don’t see the people around us supporting us, providing for us. It was my goal of serving my country overseas as a soldier in war bearing the flag of our fathers sort to speak. That was accomplished. When I set sights of a new dream of mine to compete in the Olympics, fate seemed to have robbed me of this chance I’ve worked so hard on. Although my mom wasn’t supportive of my military career, she would dedicate her weekend driving me to and from the military base where I was training so that I could have an enjoyable weekend at home spending time with friends and family. She never outwardly supported my boxing endeavors but she made sure there was always food in the fridge when I need to recharge after training or a workout. It was always about me and my goals and it made me very narrow minded. Even though she indirectly supported me through everything, I hid the fact that I went to war in Afghanistan and never told her about it, even though I knew the dangers and risk of me not ever returning. All my boxing competitions in Las Vegas, New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, I’ve made up excuses for why I was not going to be home for 3-4 days. With all the accomplishments and accolades from peers, my mom should be the one on the receiving end of it not me.
If she really did have it, and if I could start all over again as a kid, I would have forgone everything just to spend more time with my mom and have a better relationship with her…