A lot are scared to put their blade or soul into any type of furnace
They never want to be the one to stare down an opponent
You only live one live you only once
What would u say was your mark on the world??
Distractions has steered me to the path where I was told not to go through…late night hanging out with strippers and people whom I shouldn’t being hanging out with. Neglecting the hard work and discipline I’ve manifested over the years…forgetting how hard it was to come thus far… I know taking that casino night shift wasn’t the greatest idea…I know I’ve made my mistakes
I know my backs up against the wall every time I fight…that a loss could put me back competing in small shows back in Toronto with as little as 50 bucks a fight. Plus I got a Sports Illustrated section coming out shortly after my fight…so it should be the greatest performance thus far in my life…
Everyone that knows me knows I hate to lose…the thought of losing drives me to do the next rep…the next round...
The loss 3 years age sparked a fire that still burns within me…but that fire seemed to have diminished the last month an a half...maybe through the last three years of success and winning in a spectacular fashion has numbed my desire to continue excelling…and be 1% better from the day before…it seems like I’ve lost my identity as an individual …as an athlete...outside my life I had a harder time dealing with it because I was used to seeing my opponent and understand it and deal with it that way whereas when my opponent became myself that was very difficult to me. Sure distractions can be the blame…but that’s a very immature to put the blame on things other than myself…I’m becoming a believer now…success takes you where character cannot sustain you. Seems like I lets everyone in my camp down my trainers, coaches and everyone who stopped by during their busy lives to watch and cheer me on through training. Most importantly I let myself down…I’m sorry…
I lay on my bed…I can imagine myself already…making my entrance to Kanye West’s song “Amazing”. As I walk out I keep my focus as I make my way to the ring and not get distracted by the fans cheering or booing and trying to grab me…its a very beautiful place to be inside the ring...so pure...so clean. There’s no illusions about it...there’s no lying in there...no deceit. Many people wouldn’t even put themselves in it with that chaos...fear...many would rather watch me do it...they're too terrified...they'd rather buy tickets and sit in the stands and watch me go after it
Just the other day we did the final acclimation to see how I’ll look in a 12 round fight and the results were utterly embarrassing…my conditioning was not there…I was physically exhausted by the 8th round…
My manager came back today with my fight shorts with my sponsors stitched on it. The after party that I’ll be hosting after the fight at the Red Rock Hotel & Casino has been booked with advanced tickets all sold out already too. Everything is ready to go except me. My manager talked about my opponent…he goes by the name Terrell 40-3…an impressive record alongside an impressive resume of 32 fighters he’d knocked out and sent to the hospital…My manager says that Terrell insists that its a mismatch and that he’ll give me a free trip to the hospital on the 22nd. He claims I lack the desire and hunger to win and be on top anymore…that my training lacks intensity…my punch power has faded…my footwork has slowed down and that my skills and techniques are now questionable if non-existent….from the recent tapes he’d studied of me. But the more I hear it’s a mismatch the more determined I am… does he believe all my punches are lamp punches…wide punches???...and that I only walk forward in straight lines if he really believes…superb! With limited stamina…our game plan is restricted. I must go for the finish in the early rounds…before my gas tank dies out but if he takes control of the first few rounds then I gotta back up and pace myself to successful counter punching and hope to explode through the later rounds…For once it’s a match I’m not looking forward to…
All in all…sigh…this fight I can’t say I can win but all I can say is...I’ll give it all a got…
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