I looked out the window the plane…all covered in snow. I walked out of the plane…my body still aches from taking all his punches. Welcome to Toronto the Captain says to me as I exited the plane...I’m feeling the winter chill again. Wish I could spend more time in Florida but I’m home now...back to my family and friends. What an adventure…what an epic battle it was. As happy as I am with the victory, I feel for my opponent. I don’t lose often…in fact I’m one of those lucky ones that barely lose…but I know the feeling of losing…the loss must be crushing for him. Just as that thought surfaced my mind…I reached for my phone and text messaged him, “If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and start again.” As I reflect on the last few months, I learned that every time you win, it diminishes the fear a little bit. You never really cancel the fear of losing; you just have to keep challenging it. Outside the ring, I learned that sometimes there comes a stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing. Back to living a normal…or semi-normal life. This ends a chapter in my life. A new chapter will start….a new goal….when I return to school in January…not anything special or different from the average student though. Until the ring beckons again…or until the calling to return to the deserts…but until then…I’ll be cherishing a normal life…
Sometimes all I want is the win...the glory all for myself. I fail to look at people beside and behind me supporting me the whole way...but actually they are the ones that make it a reality. The people that helped me out has been just as dedicated to me, as dedicated as I am to the sport. Chris my trainer since the beginning has devoted his last ten years into forging me to become world class champion material. Sometimes I think he’s really hard on. I also have my manager …he looks after my finances of each match, making sure the venue runs smoothly, etc…making sure I’m getting the benefit of the doubt financially on each match I compete. Then there’s my strength conditioning coach who always barks at me to push harder to push me to the limits. Sometimes I hate his guts but its all for my good in the end I understand. My nutritionist helps me make the weight limit and ensures that I’m eating foods for peak performance. But sometimes I don’t listen to her expertise and think she’s annoying for dictating what I eat like my mom when I was a kid. But she actually cares about me more than just a client…she’s a friend that’s been rooting for me the whole way. This team I have must be God sent…amazing people they are. When I think about how the hell I got here…the dreams I conspired and the people that worked tirelessly and endless to make it happen were these people….and of course my friends…been ever so faithful to me despite the fact that I neglect them at times to train and do my duties…they understand. When I take a lot of pain in training and in the ring, I think of it as I’m taking the pain for all the people that I love and care for, so they don’t have to. That’s why I smile while I’m in pain cause I know it for a worthy cause. So when people ask me why I never seem to give up in hardships, trials and tribulation…why I have such determination…it’s all cause of you guys…There’s a saying “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” I’m really nothing…I’m just the product of what you guys forged me into…and boy oh boy…you guys are really something…I’m grateful for that. As I was welcomed home by my friends at the airport we went out to eat and what a great night it was…many asked why this match meant so much to me and so much more than the other ones I competed other than the fact that this one drew more people to see it. To me, this was a recertification of my abilities…once I got the challenge for me to come over to Florida and compete, I told myself… I’m hanging up my gloves and calling it quits if I lose this one. I lost my chance to go to Beijing this summer to perform in front of my own people and for my country and if I blow this chance…I’m quitting. Winning meant everything to me...it meant that the last 11 years of hard work was spent on something worthwhile…the sense of accomplishment and most of all…it meant that we were step closer to being the best in the world. For Clifton this match was dedicated to his late mother. So for both of us…a lot was at stake.
Then there’s my dad…I don’t talk to him much…it hard talking to him because I’m not his favourite son and my whole life has been spent trying to get his approval…to make you proud…but did you know that you’re my hero??? You are everything I wish I could be. I remember in grade school the teacher asked us who our hero was and kids would say superman, batman, Michael Jordan, Bruce Lee…and I’d be the one that would say that my dad was my hero…and till this day…the answer never changed when asked the same question. I’m sorry I can’t always be the son you want me to be…I’m sorry for not living up to your expectations...I’m sorry I can’t be my brother and in your eyes he’ll always be superior and that’s a fact I’ve respected. But I never give you enough credit when I am here with all the glory, but you’re the one with the strength…the motivation and inspiration me to be better than what I thought I can be. Your smile makes all of us happy…but it often hides the pain…as Chinese tradition, fatherly figure assumes the role to be strong and doesn’t show emotion while mom being Hawaiian adopts that culture of being a soft loving mother. But thanks for everything dad…I finally understand the reason for what you put me through all these years…I know it won't be today..it won't be tomorrow...but I promise you one day I'll make you proud and you can hold your head up high and say that Kelton is your son...
Honestly from the deepest most sincere bottom of my heart…thank you all so much…I apologize for my mistakes at times…I admit sometimes I don’t know how to act.
The past year wasn’t great…it had its ups and downs. The highs, I thought I was on top of the world and the lows felt like I hit rock bottom. I want a good year coming up and we’ll all do and together we’ll make this year one to remember
Happy New Year Everyone!!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Moment of Truth
“I need you to believe in me…as confident as I am…I have doubts…because at times I don’t even believe in myself.” My coach replied, “It’s your time, it’s your night champ…show these people what they came here to see. The key to victory is match is speed, and you’re 10 times faster than him.” As the opening ceremony started with the playing of the American national anthem for Clifton followed by the national anthems of China and Canada for me, I can hear the crowd getting rowdy from my locker room, the ground was literally shaking. Before it was time to enter the stadium, I knelt down and prayed that despite how much Clifton gets on my nerves that no of us would leave the ring injured or hurt. When it was time for me to enter the ring, I was filled with adrenaline that I ear were plugged and couldn’t hear anything and I had tunnel vision while making my way to the ring. When it was time for Clifton to enter the stadium, there was a deafening roar from the audience…everyone was on their feet. The energy in the stadium was incredible...nothing I’ve ever seen or experienced before. People in the crowd were holding American flags with Clifton’s name on it and other signs.
The opening bell rang, we both took the center of the ring and we both went to work. He got the better out of every exchange. They chanted his name throughout the first couple of rounds, fueling him with energy. At the end of the 3rd round he caught me with a brutal body shot…I winced in pain just as the bell sounded for the end of the 3rd round. I hobbled back to my corner to receive instructions from my corner. My coach told me to put my punches together starting with my jabs. At the beginning of the 4th round, he rocked me with a crisp punch right on my chin which destroyed my equilibrium. My world spun around and my head was dizzy…my knees turned into rubber…Clifton smelt blood in the shark tank and saw that I was hurt…he jumped on the opportunity to finish me off with a knock out. I was getting hit left right and center. I covered up but his power punches came right through my defense…I was in a world of hurt…I was just trying to survive at this point. The crowd was going nuts because they saw their champ close to winning the match. Luckily I was saved by the bell that ended the 4th round. This is my worst nightmare…never did I expect to get outclassed this bad. I was beaten down so bad, I couldn’t walk back to my corner by myself...my coach had to hold me up…I felt pain all over my body. The referee saw that I was badly hurt…he came over and told me that if I couldn’t fight back the coming round that he’d end the fight. My coach asked me if I was alright…I replied that I’m not giving up and that he’ll have to kill me to stop me…I thought to myself…all that nights spent pounding at the punching bag…waking up and running all that hard work will be all wasted. Suddenly, I thought I heard someone calling out my name from the crowd, I turned to my left and there…was 8 of my friends sitting ringside. I thought I got hit in the head too much and was seeing things. I rubbed my eyes and they were really there…they came all the way here from Toronto to cheer me on…how can I EVER let them down. The opening bell for the 5th round sounded, my buddies lifted up their fists and yelled out “Go get em boy!!!” I picked myself up…I felt energized and recharged…I casted all my pain, fear and doubts away. I took the center of the ring. One step at a time I slowly got my rhythm going, then got my footwork down pat. Slowly but surely the techniques and attributes that I possessed in practice were coming back. I tagged him with my right hand to only see him smile and he said, “Bring it on!” I fainted to the right to see if he’d bite on it and he did…I stabbed back and gave him a sharp left hook that sent him to the canvas. The crowd was in disbelief….their champ was on the ground trying desperately to get up. They chanted his name once again and Clifton rose to his feet. The bell sounded to end the 6th round. I returned to my corner and my coach was ecstatic…“That’s my boy…that’s boy right there!” I turned to my buddies sitting at ringside to see their reaction…they were jumping up and down…they yelled, “You got this, soulja boy…you got it!!” I turned back to my coach to receive instructions. He told me to relax and that Clifton was badly rocked by my left hook and that I should go for the finish right away. I gave him a determined look and nodded. Bell rang for the 7th round, I said to myself, “The time is now.”…as urgency spawned I went right for the finish. I was raining punches down on him. He seemed to have slowed down from the earlier rounds. I relaxed a bit and my hands speed accelerated. I dazzled the crowd with my speed. He had no answers to my punches. I forced him into the corner with half a minute left to go in the 7th round and gave it all I got; raining punches down on him. The referee saw that he was longer intelligently defending himself and stepped in to stop the fight. I walked over to the center of the ring looked around at the people sitting in the audience. Some of them were crying to see their champ defeated. Others clapped at the great fight they just saw. Slowly, everyone rose to their feet and gave us a standing ovation for such a good fight. I was full of emotions…I dropped to my knees and tears flowed out of my eyes. I covered with my hands to hide the fact I was crying. I bent over and put my forehead on the canvas. My coach and trainers rushed over to embrace me over the win. All that blood, sweat and tears in the gym paid off…all the sacrifice through all these years was worth it. I rose to my feet…tears were still flowing out of my eyes. I went over to check on Clifton to see if he was ok. Thank God he was injury free. He congratulated me on the win and said, “I know you were pissed off at what I said about you at the press conference…but I said it only to hype up the fight even more.” I told him I wasn’t mad. He asked, “No hard feelings?” I shook my head, “None.” The announcer walked over with the mic to ask me about the win. When I was asked to comment on Clifton I said that he’s still my hero and that I’m sure he’ll get a rematch in the 2012 Olympics for the gold. Clifton walked over after I made that comment and he grabbed the mic and said to me, “No you’re my hero now.” Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it…
I still couldn’t believe I won. I walked to the locker room and it felt like I was in a dream. I asked my coach what just happened. He smiled at me and said, “You’re the man tonight.”
I met up with my buddies at the after party….such great friends they are…they were like, “How can I ever miss the biggest moment of your life.” I bought them drinks until they were real buzzed and happy. Me and Clifton were at the stage in the club signing autographs and taking pictures with the fight fans for the first 2 hours. Many of them offered words of encouragement to Clifton and congratulate me on my win. The club was at capacity crowd…at least 7 thousand people in attendance according to the promoter. The club was huge…at least twice the size of Guvernment or Circa in Toronto. The dance floor alone was as big as a football field if not bigger. It was a night to remember. Me and Clifton got a taste of what being a celebrity was like. Every time we stepped out of the VIP lounge, there would be a throng of people asking for autographs and pictures. I didn’t want to get drunk since I was the center of attention that night, but I got real buzzed. I can honestly say that...these are the moments that I thank God I am alive.
And now I’m waiting for my plane which is delayed AGAIN…damn how much of my life is spent waiting…but its all good though…I can pass time just thinking about last night…reliving the moment over and over again in my head. I loved every second of it. The best moment of my life thus far. I’ll be back in T.O. tonight…I love this place too much and I don’t want to go back yet…As the drive to the airport was a short one, I looked out the window of the limousine, I realized Florida was not just an oasis and a safe haven from all that snow…it was paradise…palm trees…beautiful beaches right by the Caribbean Sea…before the match I was too focused on the fight and not my beautiful surroundings…man…I’m going to miss this place…Before I left I got a SMS from Jessica, girl that served me breakfast in my hotel. She wished me well on a safe journey back home and invited me back to Florida sometime. I smiled and said to myself “Definitely coming back!”
The opening bell rang, we both took the center of the ring and we both went to work. He got the better out of every exchange. They chanted his name throughout the first couple of rounds, fueling him with energy. At the end of the 3rd round he caught me with a brutal body shot…I winced in pain just as the bell sounded for the end of the 3rd round. I hobbled back to my corner to receive instructions from my corner. My coach told me to put my punches together starting with my jabs. At the beginning of the 4th round, he rocked me with a crisp punch right on my chin which destroyed my equilibrium. My world spun around and my head was dizzy…my knees turned into rubber…Clifton smelt blood in the shark tank and saw that I was hurt…he jumped on the opportunity to finish me off with a knock out. I was getting hit left right and center. I covered up but his power punches came right through my defense…I was in a world of hurt…I was just trying to survive at this point. The crowd was going nuts because they saw their champ close to winning the match. Luckily I was saved by the bell that ended the 4th round. This is my worst nightmare…never did I expect to get outclassed this bad. I was beaten down so bad, I couldn’t walk back to my corner by myself...my coach had to hold me up…I felt pain all over my body. The referee saw that I was badly hurt…he came over and told me that if I couldn’t fight back the coming round that he’d end the fight. My coach asked me if I was alright…I replied that I’m not giving up and that he’ll have to kill me to stop me…I thought to myself…all that nights spent pounding at the punching bag…waking up and running all that hard work will be all wasted. Suddenly, I thought I heard someone calling out my name from the crowd, I turned to my left and there…was 8 of my friends sitting ringside. I thought I got hit in the head too much and was seeing things. I rubbed my eyes and they were really there…they came all the way here from Toronto to cheer me on…how can I EVER let them down. The opening bell for the 5th round sounded, my buddies lifted up their fists and yelled out “Go get em boy!!!” I picked myself up…I felt energized and recharged…I casted all my pain, fear and doubts away. I took the center of the ring. One step at a time I slowly got my rhythm going, then got my footwork down pat. Slowly but surely the techniques and attributes that I possessed in practice were coming back. I tagged him with my right hand to only see him smile and he said, “Bring it on!” I fainted to the right to see if he’d bite on it and he did…I stabbed back and gave him a sharp left hook that sent him to the canvas. The crowd was in disbelief….their champ was on the ground trying desperately to get up. They chanted his name once again and Clifton rose to his feet. The bell sounded to end the 6th round. I returned to my corner and my coach was ecstatic…“That’s my boy…that’s boy right there!” I turned to my buddies sitting at ringside to see their reaction…they were jumping up and down…they yelled, “You got this, soulja boy…you got it!!” I turned back to my coach to receive instructions. He told me to relax and that Clifton was badly rocked by my left hook and that I should go for the finish right away. I gave him a determined look and nodded. Bell rang for the 7th round, I said to myself, “The time is now.”…as urgency spawned I went right for the finish. I was raining punches down on him. He seemed to have slowed down from the earlier rounds. I relaxed a bit and my hands speed accelerated. I dazzled the crowd with my speed. He had no answers to my punches. I forced him into the corner with half a minute left to go in the 7th round and gave it all I got; raining punches down on him. The referee saw that he was longer intelligently defending himself and stepped in to stop the fight. I walked over to the center of the ring looked around at the people sitting in the audience. Some of them were crying to see their champ defeated. Others clapped at the great fight they just saw. Slowly, everyone rose to their feet and gave us a standing ovation for such a good fight. I was full of emotions…I dropped to my knees and tears flowed out of my eyes. I covered with my hands to hide the fact I was crying. I bent over and put my forehead on the canvas. My coach and trainers rushed over to embrace me over the win. All that blood, sweat and tears in the gym paid off…all the sacrifice through all these years was worth it. I rose to my feet…tears were still flowing out of my eyes. I went over to check on Clifton to see if he was ok. Thank God he was injury free. He congratulated me on the win and said, “I know you were pissed off at what I said about you at the press conference…but I said it only to hype up the fight even more.” I told him I wasn’t mad. He asked, “No hard feelings?” I shook my head, “None.” The announcer walked over with the mic to ask me about the win. When I was asked to comment on Clifton I said that he’s still my hero and that I’m sure he’ll get a rematch in the 2012 Olympics for the gold. Clifton walked over after I made that comment and he grabbed the mic and said to me, “No you’re my hero now.” Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it…
I still couldn’t believe I won. I walked to the locker room and it felt like I was in a dream. I asked my coach what just happened. He smiled at me and said, “You’re the man tonight.”
I met up with my buddies at the after party….such great friends they are…they were like, “How can I ever miss the biggest moment of your life.” I bought them drinks until they were real buzzed and happy. Me and Clifton were at the stage in the club signing autographs and taking pictures with the fight fans for the first 2 hours. Many of them offered words of encouragement to Clifton and congratulate me on my win. The club was at capacity crowd…at least 7 thousand people in attendance according to the promoter. The club was huge…at least twice the size of Guvernment or Circa in Toronto. The dance floor alone was as big as a football field if not bigger. It was a night to remember. Me and Clifton got a taste of what being a celebrity was like. Every time we stepped out of the VIP lounge, there would be a throng of people asking for autographs and pictures. I didn’t want to get drunk since I was the center of attention that night, but I got real buzzed. I can honestly say that...these are the moments that I thank God I am alive.
And now I’m waiting for my plane which is delayed AGAIN…damn how much of my life is spent waiting…but its all good though…I can pass time just thinking about last night…reliving the moment over and over again in my head. I loved every second of it. The best moment of my life thus far. I’ll be back in T.O. tonight…I love this place too much and I don’t want to go back yet…As the drive to the airport was a short one, I looked out the window of the limousine, I realized Florida was not just an oasis and a safe haven from all that snow…it was paradise…palm trees…beautiful beaches right by the Caribbean Sea…before the match I was too focused on the fight and not my beautiful surroundings…man…I’m going to miss this place…Before I left I got a SMS from Jessica, girl that served me breakfast in my hotel. She wished me well on a safe journey back home and invited me back to Florida sometime. I smiled and said to myself “Definitely coming back!”
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Just woke up...couldn't sleep all last night. Too many thoughts going through my mind. I stayed up watching tapes of how Clifton boxes...his movement, footwork and his style. Also, watched UFC 92...great night of fight there too bad the fighters I was cheering for all lost. But that doesn't kill my determination to win. The hotel service is pretty sick...5 star treatment baby!!! I'm eating breakfast in my bed in my hotel room with this pretty hawt waitress serving me ;)...She's like, "I'm from South Beach, but I'll be rooting for ya champ...don't suck!" I laughed and invited her to the after party after the match...and she's like "the whole city is gonna be there pretty much, its the party that everyone's been talking about for the past week or 2." Damn that gave me added pressure...it's gonna suck if I lose in an embarrassing fashion to him and go to the after party after wards with like everyone there laughing at my loss. Before she was done serving me breakfast, she asked for my autograph and a picture with me. I'm nervous as hell...getting goose bumps and butterflies in my stomach already while I was giving her my autograph my hands were shaking dramatically and it took three attempts to sign my name properly...but that's good because last time when I didn't feel nervous I got my ass whooped.
What motivates me to go on despite immeasurable fatigue, pain and injury? Standing alone, almost naked and facing an opponent bent on knocking me out is a very unnerving experience. A fighter needs to forge himself in a crucible of focus, discipline and hard work. Each day pushing himself to do more and be more than he was the day before. It starts in the gym, doing one more round of sparring, attacking the bag with ferocity and determination, getting out and training in the cold, wet, uncomfortable conditions that all of us must face if we are committed to winning. Staying disciplined with preparation and making oneself impervious to pain and resistant to fatigue through training, training and more training. I’ve asked myself how bad I want to win and be prepared to do what it takes to achieve victory. I must know deep down in my soul that I’ll be victorious at all costs. Boxing is a brutal business, and I’ll be hurt in the ring at some point or another. Is it this fight that I’ll come out badly hurt or get in a concussion? The hidden key to boxing is knowing that truth, accepting it and being prepared to fight through that hurt when the time comes. “Don’t wait until you get your bell rung in the ring, get to work today preparing yourself to deal with and overcome adversity.” my coach always said.
Now its time to get down to business. Gotta go meet up with my coach and trainers to do last minute tune-ups and get warmed up. Everyone here knows Clifton...everyone's seen Clifton but no one knows Kelton...they'll be surprised at how good I really am...Clifton has his time...now its my time...Destiny awaits in just a few hours...
What motivates me to go on despite immeasurable fatigue, pain and injury? Standing alone, almost naked and facing an opponent bent on knocking me out is a very unnerving experience. A fighter needs to forge himself in a crucible of focus, discipline and hard work. Each day pushing himself to do more and be more than he was the day before. It starts in the gym, doing one more round of sparring, attacking the bag with ferocity and determination, getting out and training in the cold, wet, uncomfortable conditions that all of us must face if we are committed to winning. Staying disciplined with preparation and making oneself impervious to pain and resistant to fatigue through training, training and more training. I’ve asked myself how bad I want to win and be prepared to do what it takes to achieve victory. I must know deep down in my soul that I’ll be victorious at all costs. Boxing is a brutal business, and I’ll be hurt in the ring at some point or another. Is it this fight that I’ll come out badly hurt or get in a concussion? The hidden key to boxing is knowing that truth, accepting it and being prepared to fight through that hurt when the time comes. “Don’t wait until you get your bell rung in the ring, get to work today preparing yourself to deal with and overcome adversity.” my coach always said.
Now its time to get down to business. Gotta go meet up with my coach and trainers to do last minute tune-ups and get warmed up. Everyone here knows Clifton...everyone's seen Clifton but no one knows Kelton...they'll be surprised at how good I really am...Clifton has his time...now its my time...Destiny awaits in just a few hours...
Saturday, December 27, 2008
It's On!!!
I arrived in Florida this morning, beautiful weather…what an oasis from the cold and snow up in Toronto. It almost felt like I’m vacationing here for a second…but I quickly reminded myself that the sole reason to be here was simply – to win. While my team and I were on the way to the hotel, we passed by a giant billboard in downtown Miami that had a picture of me and Clifton on each end of the billboard which entitled champion vs champion with our country’s flags in the background. For the first time in a long while, I felt fear…the kind of fear nobody likes to talk about…fear that I have come this far and it could all end…but I kind of like the fear…means that I’m close…it means I’m ready…
We quickly checked into the hotel and headed to the press conference.
When we got to the press conference, the sports media already descended on Florida to cover the bout. Every seat was filled in the auditorium; first 8 rows were all sports journalists. The rest seemed to be a few hundred of Clifton’s adoring fans and supporters. As our promoter, Clifton and I took our seats, at the front table. First off our promoter James Jardine acknowledged everyone’s presence. Then he introduced me and asked me to walk to the podium and say a few words….I thanked everyone for coming out and the opportunity to be here and may the best man win…when it was Clifton’s turn, he was welcomed with a thunderous roar from his fans. He assured everyone that he’ll knock me out in 6 rounds or less. The media and sports reporters grilled us on questions while taking pictures and video recording us. One comment that really stood out was when Clifton was asked what strategy he would implement in this match…he replied, “I’m gonna whoop that chink’s ass! This isn’t some kung fu match it’s boxing!” followed by “ohs” and laughter from the audience. I clenched my jaw. I grabbed the microphone in front of me and turned to Clifton and replied, “You ever get your ass whooped by an Asian dude before…trust me it hurts!” The audience was getting amped up. This is America they love drama…they love controversy. The rest of the press conference was nothing more than trash talking from Clifton’s mouth to a point where his voice became an annoyance to me.
We checked back into the hotel room, stepped on the scale and weighed 148 lbs….1 point over the limit. I sat 45 minutes in the sauna alone trying to sweat out the last pound off. I thought of the comments he made at the press conference, words of encouragement from my friends and recent events that happened in Toronto. All those thoughts made me nervous, angry, determined and confused all at the same time.
I spent the rest of the day relaxing on the beautiful sunny beaches. Weather is perfect not too hot not too cold. People here seem to be more friendly…many approached me and asked where I’m from…what I do and what I like…all of them said I look familiar as though they’ve seen me somewhere before…I also overheard somebody’s conversation on how Clifton was going to kill that kid coming from Canada to fight him. As I heard it I smiled. It gives me more motivation to prove them all wrong.
The evening was the weigh-ins. Again all the media and fans were taking pictures as we tipped the scale. He weighed in at 146.5 lbs while I was 147 lbs on the dot. He walked up to me flashed his abs and said, “I’m ready pretty boy…are you?” He walked closer to me until his face was an inch or two away from mine. The crowd went crazy with roars and screams as camera flashes lit up the whole stadium. He stared viciously into my eyes and muttered “You’re fighting the best muthafucka out there…you know that right? You ready to die?” I stared furiously into his eyes “If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.” He took a step back and said “Fuck you!” and gave me the finger and walked off the stage. The crowds chanted his name and were going berserk as they see the tension between me and Clifton erupts. Everyone was eager to see tomorrow’s match and it seems like we got the whole city buzzing about the match.
When I headed back to my hotel room, I sat in the middle of the bed. All the camera flashes were hurting my eyes to the point where time I blink I see another flash…I promised myself no matter how much Clifton gets under my skin with the comments he makes…win or lose I’ll shake his hand at the end of the fight and have a drink with him at the after party.
Boxing requires a delicate balance…accepting the embrace of those closest to you while stealing the force of your opponent that seek to destroy you. But as months become weeks, the countdown to urgency spawns tension and that balance begins to skew…whether you’ve been to this point many times before or traversing unfamiliar territory…as the fight draws near pressure further intensifies…fueled the desire to win or simple instinct to survive...its been said that in this ring the truth will eventually find you…for Kelton and Clifton the moment of truth is looming…24 hours until the opening bell sounds and a fire stoke through months of training ignites with a hellish flurry…24 hours until the balance between rage and humanity to disappear….
But meanwhile this fight isn’t just a stepping stone for the Olympics anymore…it’s for honor and pride…
We quickly checked into the hotel and headed to the press conference.
When we got to the press conference, the sports media already descended on Florida to cover the bout. Every seat was filled in the auditorium; first 8 rows were all sports journalists. The rest seemed to be a few hundred of Clifton’s adoring fans and supporters. As our promoter, Clifton and I took our seats, at the front table. First off our promoter James Jardine acknowledged everyone’s presence. Then he introduced me and asked me to walk to the podium and say a few words….I thanked everyone for coming out and the opportunity to be here and may the best man win…when it was Clifton’s turn, he was welcomed with a thunderous roar from his fans. He assured everyone that he’ll knock me out in 6 rounds or less. The media and sports reporters grilled us on questions while taking pictures and video recording us. One comment that really stood out was when Clifton was asked what strategy he would implement in this match…he replied, “I’m gonna whoop that chink’s ass! This isn’t some kung fu match it’s boxing!” followed by “ohs” and laughter from the audience. I clenched my jaw. I grabbed the microphone in front of me and turned to Clifton and replied, “You ever get your ass whooped by an Asian dude before…trust me it hurts!” The audience was getting amped up. This is America they love drama…they love controversy. The rest of the press conference was nothing more than trash talking from Clifton’s mouth to a point where his voice became an annoyance to me.
We checked back into the hotel room, stepped on the scale and weighed 148 lbs….1 point over the limit. I sat 45 minutes in the sauna alone trying to sweat out the last pound off. I thought of the comments he made at the press conference, words of encouragement from my friends and recent events that happened in Toronto. All those thoughts made me nervous, angry, determined and confused all at the same time.
I spent the rest of the day relaxing on the beautiful sunny beaches. Weather is perfect not too hot not too cold. People here seem to be more friendly…many approached me and asked where I’m from…what I do and what I like…all of them said I look familiar as though they’ve seen me somewhere before…I also overheard somebody’s conversation on how Clifton was going to kill that kid coming from Canada to fight him. As I heard it I smiled. It gives me more motivation to prove them all wrong.
The evening was the weigh-ins. Again all the media and fans were taking pictures as we tipped the scale. He weighed in at 146.5 lbs while I was 147 lbs on the dot. He walked up to me flashed his abs and said, “I’m ready pretty boy…are you?” He walked closer to me until his face was an inch or two away from mine. The crowd went crazy with roars and screams as camera flashes lit up the whole stadium. He stared viciously into my eyes and muttered “You’re fighting the best muthafucka out there…you know that right? You ready to die?” I stared furiously into his eyes “If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.” He took a step back and said “Fuck you!” and gave me the finger and walked off the stage. The crowds chanted his name and were going berserk as they see the tension between me and Clifton erupts. Everyone was eager to see tomorrow’s match and it seems like we got the whole city buzzing about the match.
When I headed back to my hotel room, I sat in the middle of the bed. All the camera flashes were hurting my eyes to the point where time I blink I see another flash…I promised myself no matter how much Clifton gets under my skin with the comments he makes…win or lose I’ll shake his hand at the end of the fight and have a drink with him at the after party.
Boxing requires a delicate balance…accepting the embrace of those closest to you while stealing the force of your opponent that seek to destroy you. But as months become weeks, the countdown to urgency spawns tension and that balance begins to skew…whether you’ve been to this point many times before or traversing unfamiliar territory…as the fight draws near pressure further intensifies…fueled the desire to win or simple instinct to survive...its been said that in this ring the truth will eventually find you…for Kelton and Clifton the moment of truth is looming…24 hours until the opening bell sounds and a fire stoke through months of training ignites with a hellish flurry…24 hours until the balance between rage and humanity to disappear….
But meanwhile this fight isn’t just a stepping stone for the Olympics anymore…it’s for honor and pride…
Friday, December 26, 2008
一路向北
Damn my plane will be delayed for an hour and a half. I’m just sitting in Pearson Airport trying to get some shut eye but I’m just too amped up and nervous for the 28th to nap. My body is drained of fluids to try and make the 147lb mark. I weighed myself this morning I was 149lb on an empty stomach. Crap 2 more lbs to lose.
Two thousand kilometers away….2 thousand kilometers to thinking of the task at hand. A sold out crowd of just over five thousand spectators watching me box with my opponent at the Palms Resort and Casino Arena. I chose this match because I thought it was the best option for me in this stage of my athletic career...sometimes I lay in bed and say …hmm maybe it is too big of a match…I doubt myself at times…and I really do…but when I run through all the scenarios that might happen…I come to the same conclusion in the end…and that’s me winning. The odds are against me as I travel to my challenger’s backyard. I love beating the odds. You know what…if there weren’t upsets in this world the world would be a boring place…let’s face it. What’s suppose to happen doesn’t always happen…winning or losing you gotta have one of the other it’s a simple fact of life… I don’t like losing …I don’t lose often…all his Florida supporters will be smiling if I lose…but I don’t see it happening…
As I look out the window of the Boeing jet gazing at the cotton clouds, I think about my past and what the future holds. I want to retire from the sport as champion of some sort to prove to myself and the world that my efforts all these years amounted to something…something glorious...something no one can ever take away from me…
My manager came back from finalizing the deal and contracts for December 28th in the Palms Hotel and Casino Resort in South Beach, Florida the other day. He met my opponent, Clifton...described as a lanky and tough. However, his story was inspirational. He grew up in a poor family of 6 children with a strict father who tried to live his dreams through his son Clifton because he saw something special he possessed that his other siblings did not. His father’s dream and first passion was to win the gold medal in Olympic boxing for the United States. So everyday after school he would do homework and when his dad came home, he would take Clifton to the gym and train him there. This would be a daily routine and his dad would never let him miss a single day of it. He wasn’t allowed to go out and play basketball with the other kids and never really had a childhood. His relationship with his father was bitter cold, so he sought refuge from his mother who would go watch him train and would be ringside cheering him on at every one of his amateur competitions. His mother had a sweet spot in her heart for her son. As he fought up the ranks to become a member of the U.S. Olympic team to compete for the gold medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, his mother began a fight of her life against breast cancer. And his mother forwent her chemotherapy to fly to Seattle to watch him compete and hopefully see him qualify for team USA. He emerged victorious out of all his competitions and qualified to be in the final fight where the winner of this fight would represent America for the Olympic Team in Beijing. He was ecstatic as his biggest fight drew near, but tragically…his mother was hospitalized in serious condition…and when he went to see her…her final words were to bring the gold medal home for America. Filled with emotions, Clifton trained harder than ever at the gym. In the process he suffered a wrist injury. Despite this injury, he still fought the last competition dedicating the fight to his mother, losing a hair-thin close decision which shattered his Olympic dream….
As I walked out of the gym seeing what used to be colorful posters which now are fainted pictures scorched by a decade of sunlight. I walked through the door frame…the same one that I walked through for the first time as a troubled, angry and confused youth. As I started hitting the punching bags, my anger dissipated. It was my escape from all the anger and stress built up. Under carefully guidance of Chris, I’ve learned the sport from those I trust most, respect the wisdom of those that have been there before me and embrace the promise of the future in the kids learning.
Over the past week I did feel weaker than my opponent…while his physical and mental were at its peak, I was shadowed by my remorse…but after today settling it with her took some burden off my shoulders...feels like I can walk a little lighter now. I said what was on my mind…hope she can forgive me…
As boys in bare corners of the world separated by thousands of miles we both came to the ring for the same reasons it offered us a way out. Inside the ropes we encountered a simple pursuit through desire, resilience and skill…that pursuit has awarded us in ways that we could only imagine. Along the path simplicity has steadily replaced by complications. Across the border, relentless fury has catapulted my opponent from being a poor hustler to a celebrated hero in Florida where the people see their honor represented in his courage…in our very different journeys we both discovered one thing…complications can be costly. So as we train we seek familiarity and embrace the past. We find ways to make it simple…once again. On the December 28th the reality of fame may surround us in Florida and once again the ring will beckon…and once again it’ll offer us a way out…the road to the 2012 Olympics has begun…the quest for the gold starts here…Florida here I come…
Two thousand kilometers away….2 thousand kilometers to thinking of the task at hand. A sold out crowd of just over five thousand spectators watching me box with my opponent at the Palms Resort and Casino Arena. I chose this match because I thought it was the best option for me in this stage of my athletic career...sometimes I lay in bed and say …hmm maybe it is too big of a match…I doubt myself at times…and I really do…but when I run through all the scenarios that might happen…I come to the same conclusion in the end…and that’s me winning. The odds are against me as I travel to my challenger’s backyard. I love beating the odds. You know what…if there weren’t upsets in this world the world would be a boring place…let’s face it. What’s suppose to happen doesn’t always happen…winning or losing you gotta have one of the other it’s a simple fact of life… I don’t like losing …I don’t lose often…all his Florida supporters will be smiling if I lose…but I don’t see it happening…
As I look out the window of the Boeing jet gazing at the cotton clouds, I think about my past and what the future holds. I want to retire from the sport as champion of some sort to prove to myself and the world that my efforts all these years amounted to something…something glorious...something no one can ever take away from me…
My manager came back from finalizing the deal and contracts for December 28th in the Palms Hotel and Casino Resort in South Beach, Florida the other day. He met my opponent, Clifton...described as a lanky and tough. However, his story was inspirational. He grew up in a poor family of 6 children with a strict father who tried to live his dreams through his son Clifton because he saw something special he possessed that his other siblings did not. His father’s dream and first passion was to win the gold medal in Olympic boxing for the United States. So everyday after school he would do homework and when his dad came home, he would take Clifton to the gym and train him there. This would be a daily routine and his dad would never let him miss a single day of it. He wasn’t allowed to go out and play basketball with the other kids and never really had a childhood. His relationship with his father was bitter cold, so he sought refuge from his mother who would go watch him train and would be ringside cheering him on at every one of his amateur competitions. His mother had a sweet spot in her heart for her son. As he fought up the ranks to become a member of the U.S. Olympic team to compete for the gold medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, his mother began a fight of her life against breast cancer. And his mother forwent her chemotherapy to fly to Seattle to watch him compete and hopefully see him qualify for team USA. He emerged victorious out of all his competitions and qualified to be in the final fight where the winner of this fight would represent America for the Olympic Team in Beijing. He was ecstatic as his biggest fight drew near, but tragically…his mother was hospitalized in serious condition…and when he went to see her…her final words were to bring the gold medal home for America. Filled with emotions, Clifton trained harder than ever at the gym. In the process he suffered a wrist injury. Despite this injury, he still fought the last competition dedicating the fight to his mother, losing a hair-thin close decision which shattered his Olympic dream….
As I walked out of the gym seeing what used to be colorful posters which now are fainted pictures scorched by a decade of sunlight. I walked through the door frame…the same one that I walked through for the first time as a troubled, angry and confused youth. As I started hitting the punching bags, my anger dissipated. It was my escape from all the anger and stress built up. Under carefully guidance of Chris, I’ve learned the sport from those I trust most, respect the wisdom of those that have been there before me and embrace the promise of the future in the kids learning.
Over the past week I did feel weaker than my opponent…while his physical and mental were at its peak, I was shadowed by my remorse…but after today settling it with her took some burden off my shoulders...feels like I can walk a little lighter now. I said what was on my mind…hope she can forgive me…
As boys in bare corners of the world separated by thousands of miles we both came to the ring for the same reasons it offered us a way out. Inside the ropes we encountered a simple pursuit through desire, resilience and skill…that pursuit has awarded us in ways that we could only imagine. Along the path simplicity has steadily replaced by complications. Across the border, relentless fury has catapulted my opponent from being a poor hustler to a celebrated hero in Florida where the people see their honor represented in his courage…in our very different journeys we both discovered one thing…complications can be costly. So as we train we seek familiarity and embrace the past. We find ways to make it simple…once again. On the December 28th the reality of fame may surround us in Florida and once again the ring will beckon…and once again it’ll offer us a way out…the road to the 2012 Olympics has begun…the quest for the gold starts here…Florida here I come…
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Time!!!
It’s Christmas…best time of the year?? Really eh…Woke up and wished dad and mom a Merry Christmas…giving dad a hug and mom and kiss then rushed out the door to the gym.
It’s a cadence that’s familiar to me… the confident energy of a final workout followed by a sudden, eerie calm of an empty gym …silent conversations and the pictures on the wall ..the realization that in a week win or lose it’ll just be another memory...or possibility of another trophy to bring back from the corner of the ring…and of course the after the notorious partying following the match which is will be massively insane party everytime...this is what I live for…at least for now..
It’s a cadence that’s familiar to me… the confident energy of a final workout followed by a sudden, eerie calm of an empty gym …silent conversations and the pictures on the wall ..the realization that in a week win or lose it’ll just be another memory...or possibility of another trophy to bring back from the corner of the ring…and of course the after the notorious partying following the match which is will be massively insane party everytime...this is what I live for…at least for now..
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Wishes for Santa
Its Christmas…I haven’t felt Christmas for holiday spirit for as long as I can remember. Maybe the monotony of training has numbed my Christmas senses. As a kid I remember the sight of seeing something lovely wrapped beneath the Christmas tree. My Christmas list when I was a kid used to be:
1. GI Joe action figure
2. X-Men Wolverine action figure (the ones with the claws on)
3. Lamborghini and Ferrari toy car
Now I’m all grown up, life is more complex. What I want nowadays….often money cannot buy. I guess here’s my grown up Christmas list, short and simple:
1. World peace
2. Economic prosperity
3. Be a better man
4. have a bright future without dreading a 9-5 job
5. lastly, to see all my friends and loved ones happy
I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Wish you guys will follow your dreams and live it out. God knows that dreams are hard follow but don't let anyone take them away. For all you guys in harms way, stay safe, stay strong. My prayers go out to all of you. God Bless!!!
1. GI Joe action figure
2. X-Men Wolverine action figure (the ones with the claws on)
3. Lamborghini and Ferrari toy car
Now I’m all grown up, life is more complex. What I want nowadays….often money cannot buy. I guess here’s my grown up Christmas list, short and simple:
1. World peace
2. Economic prosperity
3. Be a better man
4. have a bright future without dreading a 9-5 job
5. lastly, to see all my friends and loved ones happy
I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Wish you guys will follow your dreams and live it out. God knows that dreams are hard follow but don't let anyone take them away. For all you guys in harms way, stay safe, stay strong. My prayers go out to all of you. God Bless!!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
A Well Deserved Break
Yay!!! I finished my last exam…exams are brutal…I quickly rushed to my car to get to the gym. I danced in the parking lot in the snow while listening to Chris Brown’s Forever on my mp3 player. I was doing Chris Brown’s reverse 720 spins and slipped on ice only to land flat on my ass…I chuckled and quickly got up, dust myself off and spun around hoping nobody saw…but a group of girls walking behind me were all biting their lip trying to hold their laughter in…I smiled and they let it all out and laughed hysterically…One of them said “don’t worry no one saw.” The other one said, “omg…that just made my day.” Another one said, “The dance moves you did before you fell were good.” I felt pain on my behind as I sat down in my car…I thought to myself “Meh…it was worth it…at least I made someone’s day.”
I got to the gym with my training team all waiting for me to get started. After yet another training session at a furious pace, I dazzled the others at the gym watching again with my talents, strength, power, speed, stamina and skill…they shook their heads in disbelief…their comments “omfg he’s lightening fast…he’s not even human” echoed throughout the gym…I smiled hearing it as it only give me motivation to get even better and go that extra mile. An unexpected visitor with some inspiration came in…a mother walked in with her son to watch me while I was doing pad work with one of my coaches. She approached me and complimented me on my hard work and dedication. She told me she brought her son to show him at a young age what sweat, blood, tears of hard work actually means and also, her son wants to take up boxing, but she’s worried about her son getting hit. The son, David looked up at me and said, “I wanna be just as good as you when I grow up.” I smiled at him and replied, “ You not gonna be as good as me when you grow up…*I winked*..you’re gonna be 10 times better…not just in the ring but as a person outside the ring too!” His mom smiled. As training came to a wrap, my nutritionist checked my blood sugar levels to make sure I’m not under or overtraining. Checked my bodyfat percentage…4.3%...bodyweight…155lbs. Damn…4.3%, I’m already taking fish oils to try to bump it up…if I didn’t I’d be walking bones and muscle :S. My nutritionist told me I’m in peak physical condition, just making the weight limit of 147lb for the match without losing muscle mass would prove to be a challenge. Target body fat percentage would be 3%. My boxing coach told me to take this weekend off training, to let my body recuperate. I was reluctant to skip training since the fight was just 10 days away. But he insisted to that I need one. As I turned and headed for the exit, my coach yelled out “go easy on the booze, champ!” I replied over my shoulder. “Will do, coach.” With a thumbs up. I smiled to myself and muttered under my breath, “That’s not gonna happen.”
Finally, a well deserved break. Exams are done…it could only mean one thing….PARTY TIME!!!!! Haven’t done it in a long time and haven’t done it often, but once I do..all hell break loose…ya all know. Gonna be a crazy weekend..one to remember for sure…I promise ;)
I got to the gym with my training team all waiting for me to get started. After yet another training session at a furious pace, I dazzled the others at the gym watching again with my talents, strength, power, speed, stamina and skill…they shook their heads in disbelief…their comments “omfg he’s lightening fast…he’s not even human” echoed throughout the gym…I smiled hearing it as it only give me motivation to get even better and go that extra mile. An unexpected visitor with some inspiration came in…a mother walked in with her son to watch me while I was doing pad work with one of my coaches. She approached me and complimented me on my hard work and dedication. She told me she brought her son to show him at a young age what sweat, blood, tears of hard work actually means and also, her son wants to take up boxing, but she’s worried about her son getting hit. The son, David looked up at me and said, “I wanna be just as good as you when I grow up.” I smiled at him and replied, “ You not gonna be as good as me when you grow up…*I winked*..you’re gonna be 10 times better…not just in the ring but as a person outside the ring too!” His mom smiled. As training came to a wrap, my nutritionist checked my blood sugar levels to make sure I’m not under or overtraining. Checked my bodyfat percentage…4.3%...bodyweight…155lbs. Damn…4.3%, I’m already taking fish oils to try to bump it up…if I didn’t I’d be walking bones and muscle :S. My nutritionist told me I’m in peak physical condition, just making the weight limit of 147lb for the match without losing muscle mass would prove to be a challenge. Target body fat percentage would be 3%. My boxing coach told me to take this weekend off training, to let my body recuperate. I was reluctant to skip training since the fight was just 10 days away. But he insisted to that I need one. As I turned and headed for the exit, my coach yelled out “go easy on the booze, champ!” I replied over my shoulder. “Will do, coach.” With a thumbs up. I smiled to myself and muttered under my breath, “That’s not gonna happen.”
Finally, a well deserved break. Exams are done…it could only mean one thing….PARTY TIME!!!!! Haven’t done it in a long time and haven’t done it often, but once I do..all hell break loose…ya all know. Gonna be a crazy weekend..one to remember for sure…I promise ;)
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Ashes...
Finished my training session today…quite an interesting one indeed. My coach, Chris along with my Strength conditioning coach, Paul has been guiding through my life inside the ring. Not only did they taught be how to box in the ring, they taught me to how take care of myself outside the ring. After an intense workout, they took time out to hear my recent struggles. When it was their time to give feedback, they drew many examples of their life experiences; the struggles and triumphs. “It requires less character to discover the faults of others, than to tolerate them…and talents are best nurtured in solitude while character is best formed in stormy billows for that’s what defines who we are. We cannot dream ourselves into a character but we must hammer and forge ourselves into one.” And lastly, my coach mentioned that “reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God knows of us.” My coach tells me he has a gift for me. He takes off his necklace and hands it to me and says. “this is my lucky charm, I want you to have it, it’s going to be like your guardian angel on your shoulder and when you’re down, it’s gonna whisper in your ear…its gonna say “Get up...Chris loves you!”…go after him kid.” I looked at the necklace and smiled and thanked him for it. Afterwards my coach had important matters to attend to, so he left me in charge of teaching his beginner boxing class. Surprisingly, the class was made up of 80% girls. After teach them some basics and giving them a punishing workout, a few of the girls approached me and asked…
Girls: I heard you’re competing in Florida?
Me: Ya
Girls: That’s so cool. Don’t you guys take a lot of pain and punches in the ring???
Me: Yea and I train to increase my pain threshold.
Girls: If it hurts so much, aren’t you scared??? Then why do you still continue competing???
Me: Number one cuz I love it…and its not about how hard you get hit…cuz no one hits harder than life…its about how hard you get hit and how much you can take and keep moving forward…that’s how winning is done… Maybe I like the pain…because without it, maybe I just wouldn't feel that it’s real.
Girls: So why do you guys still keep hitting yourselves so hard during your sparring sessions?
Me: Cuz it feels so good when I stop. ;)
Girls: *laughs* Interesting…I’m coming here to train every Saturday from now on instead of Fridays. Cya next week!
Damn it’s getting late…gotta sleep soon for my early morning runs…and still have one last exam left with fight night just around the corner. As I crawl into my cozy bed, I repent for all that I took for granted and thank God for putting such great and supportive people in my life that inspired me to be better…I pray that I’ll be a better man and above all…I pray God will protect me from my pride….
Girls: I heard you’re competing in Florida?
Me: Ya
Girls: That’s so cool. Don’t you guys take a lot of pain and punches in the ring???
Me: Yea and I train to increase my pain threshold.
Girls: If it hurts so much, aren’t you scared??? Then why do you still continue competing???
Me: Number one cuz I love it…and its not about how hard you get hit…cuz no one hits harder than life…its about how hard you get hit and how much you can take and keep moving forward…that’s how winning is done… Maybe I like the pain…because without it, maybe I just wouldn't feel that it’s real.
Girls: So why do you guys still keep hitting yourselves so hard during your sparring sessions?
Me: Cuz it feels so good when I stop. ;)
Girls: *laughs* Interesting…I’m coming here to train every Saturday from now on instead of Fridays. Cya next week!
Damn it’s getting late…gotta sleep soon for my early morning runs…and still have one last exam left with fight night just around the corner. As I crawl into my cozy bed, I repent for all that I took for granted and thank God for putting such great and supportive people in my life that inspired me to be better…I pray that I’ll be a better man and above all…I pray God will protect me from my pride….
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Remorse
I just had four exams in 3 days and still one more to go. I’m experiencing the exam blues. These exams…I had so much potential to do better. Things haven’t going my way as of late, seems like I’ve hit a brick wall…yet another obstacle. I just have to find a way around this one. But everyone faces obstacles…their existence in our lives is to weed out the weak…so that the strong will prevail and find a way around each and every obstacle to reach their goal. Training inside the ring has made my strength, speed, power and skills flourish. Yet my life outside the ring has been crumbling.
I never meant to reopen that emotional scar when I was with her at the restaurant. I should have known not to have asked. I hope you will find another person…one who treats you the way you truly deserve. Hope you will have better days ahead.
A week or two ago I had a friend that I have said some things about her at work that has made her upset to the point where it seems as though a curtain of silence has descended upon us. It seems impossible to get to her...if she only let me explain…things are not what they seem to be...but how can I tell her?? I never meant to degrade or mistreat a friend. I guess she felt that she was judged wrongly and disrespected. It wasn’t my intention….I’m not trying to make excuses for myself…I do realize that I was wrong to judge her…words cannot express how sorry I am…but if she insists that our friendship is over, I respect her decision…All I wanted was to see a smile on her face…and if ending it will make her happier…then I support her decision. May God bless her every step of the way and shine a light on the path she walks. And if our lives ever cross roads again in the future, may I make amends for it and be able to start again.
For all of my brethrens that served in Afghanistan for Canada alongside me….it was my greatest honor fighting by along your sides….though I seemed to have deserted you and the team with not keeping up with the rigorous training… I haven’t forsaken you and will never will….remember our motto “no one is will be left behind”. Life has become more busy and seemed to have spiraled downhill for me but I haven’t forgotten about the days that we bled and quenched in tears together in the dessert fighting and gripping onto our lives to fight for the people who we loved…for the values we stood for and were willing to die for…I will never forget. “In Pace Paratus”…stay safe troops. I will return…
Sometimes sorry is the hardest word….I’m really deeply sorry to you all for doing this…hopefully I can right the wrongs to you all somehow…maybe time will dissipate the memories of all my wrongdoings and allow me to a fresh start. But for now all I can do is hope and pray for a better tomorrow…
當愛與希望 投射炙熱的太陽
昨日淚光 會隨時間都蒸發
別輕易放棄 明天要許更多願望
裝滿了勇氣 就更有力量
當愛與希望 倒映暖暖的月亮
再回頭望 又是築好的家鄉
我知道未來還有好多路要闖
我打開了窗 看見了晴朗….
I never meant to reopen that emotional scar when I was with her at the restaurant. I should have known not to have asked. I hope you will find another person…one who treats you the way you truly deserve. Hope you will have better days ahead.
A week or two ago I had a friend that I have said some things about her at work that has made her upset to the point where it seems as though a curtain of silence has descended upon us. It seems impossible to get to her...if she only let me explain…things are not what they seem to be...but how can I tell her?? I never meant to degrade or mistreat a friend. I guess she felt that she was judged wrongly and disrespected. It wasn’t my intention….I’m not trying to make excuses for myself…I do realize that I was wrong to judge her…words cannot express how sorry I am…but if she insists that our friendship is over, I respect her decision…All I wanted was to see a smile on her face…and if ending it will make her happier…then I support her decision. May God bless her every step of the way and shine a light on the path she walks. And if our lives ever cross roads again in the future, may I make amends for it and be able to start again.
For all of my brethrens that served in Afghanistan for Canada alongside me….it was my greatest honor fighting by along your sides….though I seemed to have deserted you and the team with not keeping up with the rigorous training… I haven’t forsaken you and will never will….remember our motto “no one is will be left behind”. Life has become more busy and seemed to have spiraled downhill for me but I haven’t forgotten about the days that we bled and quenched in tears together in the dessert fighting and gripping onto our lives to fight for the people who we loved…for the values we stood for and were willing to die for…I will never forget. “In Pace Paratus”…stay safe troops. I will return…
Sometimes sorry is the hardest word….I’m really deeply sorry to you all for doing this…hopefully I can right the wrongs to you all somehow…maybe time will dissipate the memories of all my wrongdoings and allow me to a fresh start. But for now all I can do is hope and pray for a better tomorrow…
當愛與希望 投射炙熱的太陽
昨日淚光 會隨時間都蒸發
別輕易放棄 明天要許更多願望
裝滿了勇氣 就更有力量
當愛與希望 倒映暖暖的月亮
再回頭望 又是築好的家鄉
我知道未來還有好多路要闖
我打開了窗 看見了晴朗….
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