Remorse

I just had four exams in 3 days and still one more to go. I’m experiencing the exam blues. These exams…I had so much potential to do better. Things haven’t going my way as of late, seems like I’ve hit a brick wall…yet another obstacle. I just have to find a way around this one. But everyone faces obstacles…their existence in our lives is to weed out the weak…so that the strong will prevail and find a way around each and every obstacle to reach their goal. Training inside the ring has made my strength, speed, power and skills flourish. Yet my life outside the ring has been crumbling.
I never meant to reopen that emotional scar when I was with her at the restaurant. I should have known not to have asked. I hope you will find another person…one who treats you the way you truly deserve. Hope you will have better days ahead.
A week or two ago I had a friend that I have said some things about her at work that has made her upset to the point where it seems as though a curtain of silence has descended upon us. It seems impossible to get to her...if she only let me explain…things are not what they seem to be...but how can I tell her?? I never meant to degrade or mistreat a friend. I guess she felt that she was judged wrongly and disrespected. It wasn’t my intention….I’m not trying to make excuses for myself…I do realize that I was wrong to judge her…words cannot express how sorry I am…but if she insists that our friendship is over, I respect her decision…All I wanted was to see a smile on her face…and if ending it will make her happier…then I support her decision. May God bless her every step of the way and shine a light on the path she walks. And if our lives ever cross roads again in the future, may I make amends for it and be able to start again.
For all of my brethrens that served in Afghanistan for Canada alongside me….it was my greatest honor fighting by along your sides….though I seemed to have deserted you and the team with not keeping up with the rigorous training… I haven’t forsaken you and will never will….remember our motto “no one is will be left behind”. Life has become more busy and seemed to have spiraled downhill for me but I haven’t forgotten about the days that we bled and quenched in tears together in the dessert fighting and gripping onto our lives to fight for the people who we loved…for the values we stood for and were willing to die for…I will never forget. “In Pace Paratus”…stay safe troops. I will return…
Sometimes sorry is the hardest word….I’m really deeply sorry to you all for doing this…hopefully I can right the wrongs to you all somehow…maybe time will dissipate the memories of all my wrongdoings and allow me to a fresh start. But for now all I can do is hope and pray for a better tomorrow…

當愛與希望 投射炙熱的太陽
昨日淚光 會隨時間都蒸發
別輕易放棄 明天要許更多願望
裝滿了勇氣 就更有力量

當愛與希望 倒映暖暖的月亮
再回頭望 又是築好的家鄉
我知道未來還有好多路要闖
我打開了窗 看見了晴朗….