...Black Hawk helicopters soar above me, gunshots can be heard close by...the sound of bullets piercing through the air...officers commanding their troops to move to their positions to respond to enemy fire...I observe the situation and surrounding that I'm in...dangerous yet familiar...I quickly realized that I'm in the middle of the desert in Afghanistan in the midst of an encounter with the Taliban forces...suddenly I feel a sharp pain on my chest, I drop to my knees...my head was pounding as I lose consciousness. I woke up all dizzy with my hands tied behind my back inside a cave, I called for help only to have the muzzle of an AK-47 shoved in my mouth. He yelled out a few words in Arabic and cocked the trigger followed with a loud gunshot...I jolted up as my alarm clock rang...my heart was racing, it's still dark outside. I thought to myself "yeah...that's my past...the rest of my life begins now..." I turn to check the time...it's 6am. Time for my morning run.
Some days I feel like shit, some days I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit. I would then be able to allocate my time to rekindle with old friends and broaden my network. Devoting nearly a decade in military service and my passion has sacrificed frequent visits to clubs and bars to break dance. I traded off being able to spend quiet summer nights camping in tranquility and sleeping under the starry night with crickets chirping. Furthermore, I also forgone the opportunity be able spend quality time with friends and family for a mid summer day barbecue or a day at the beach. But on the bright scheme of things, this passion has allowed me to be a little different, "to be a bright star" as my coach would say. Sometimes I ponder if the sacrifices I've made to get where I am today were even worthwhile and if this dream is even achievable or am I drowning in a delusional desire for greatness that I am willing to sacrifice everything for it. The power of hope that inspired me to dream seems to have blinded me from reality at times, but it all seems worthwhile after some success. I remember vividly that after I earned an impressive victory at Madison Square Garden in New York on the undercard, I went to a bar in New York. To my surprise, I had a celebrity’s welcome by the majority of the locals at the bar who saw me compete. People approached me to introduce themselves and to congratulate me on my win; some even asked for autographs. It was an overwhelming feeling. For everything I've missed, I've gained something else. For everything I've gained, I've lost in something else. I guess it all depends on our outlook towards life. I can either to choose to rejoice or regret. There is no telling how many miles you have to run while chasing a dream and ultimately we are responsible for what we are and what we wish to become. We have the power to make ourselves. Also, remember we only have one life. But if we work it in the right way...one life is all we ever need...
Its been a long busy week, assignments are raining down on me. As the semester soon draws to an end, my exams are around the corner, training needs to step up in both intensity and frequency, yet school takes precedence. Anxiety, tension and stress are building up with time running out. All these things that take utmost importance and distractions will not break my focus but we must thrive on it to sharpen both the mind and body. I must be perfect for that nightto win in this level of competition. It's my passion; to win is like my habit through hard work and suffering. It's difficult when I don't obtain it, I can't digest failure in what I worked so hard and diligently for. The future depends on what we do now. I've worked, studied and trained endlessly this week. I must thrive on the opportunity and rise to the occasion to face my challenger. The last month of training until the moment of truth that night will be a long and brutal one but I'm not afraid of difficulty or challenge it brings because they push me forward and reinforces my goal, which is to wake up everyday knowing that I'll be a better than yesterday. I live and believe in the beauty of my dreams because when you believe in yourself, the possibilities are endless. In the end, I realize that I’m truly blessed for my God-given talents and to be able to run countless miles and not give up to chase after my dreams while others were not offered such opportunities. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for, it’s my time to shine and I’ll seize the moment. I understand that we can't all be perfect, we can't always get or be what we want...we can't all be stars...but we can all twinkle in our own way...
As I return from my morning run, a run of inescapable serenity and a peace that embraces focus, I turned to watched sunrise...a breathtaking view it was as the world comes to life. I dwell in that moment for a while and reminiscent what my grandfather told me when I was small..."You were born to live, don't live because you were born. Don't go the way life takes you...but take life the way you want to go!" I smiled to myself and said, "Its gonna be a good day."
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